


it feels like home to me (feels like i'm all the way back where i belong)

by eleanorbramwell



Category: Holby City
Genre: AU - end of the world survivors, Angst, Elinor Lives, F/F, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning, M/M, PTSD, raf and fletch being actual gay dads
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-12-04 20:12:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11562483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eleanorbramwell/pseuds/eleanorbramwell
Summary: AU: It's 2016. A mutation of the flu virus has left only a handful of immune survivors. Serena Campbell is a former vascular surgeon and the leader of a community of survivors who are battling to make new lives for themselves in this harsh new world. Keeping her people safe, having a runaway daughter and the possibility of a coup from within is more than enough to keep Serena's hands full but when two members of the group rescue an injured woman from the snow, it sets in motion a chain of events that will change her life forever.





	it feels like home to me (feels like i'm all the way back where i belong)

**Author's Note:**

> This is an idea that I have not been able to shake for ages and ages and I finally got my act together and started to write it. Please bear with how wordy it is, I promise the dialogue is coming :D Massive thank you to Kate and Sammi without whom this wouldn't have been written and who have looked over it for me. Any errors left are mine because I played around with it again after they fixed it <3

Bernie blinked, bright light stinging her eyes as she tried to force them open. She couldn’t see much, black and grey and blue mingling in a haze for a few minutes before her eyes focused properly. Slowly she was able to make out what the shapes were, tree branches, dark and bare and twisting, stark against the winter clouds. The sun was in the middle of the sky but her grumbling stomach already told her that it was about noon.She grunted as she attempted to push herself up onto her elbows and the pain that shot through her ribs and spine suddenly brought back the memory of how she had ended up here. A group of men, barely men, teenagers really, all spotty skin and swaggering bravado, had stumbled across her makeshift camp late last night.

Bernie knew by now that trying to fight off a group, no matter how hapless and fumbling they seemed to be was futile (she had the scars to prove that). Desperate people were strong and her own strength had waned from months of walking and hiding and not enough to eat. So she had run, had known she still had speed on her side, and the group had been distracted with the stuff she had left behind her as she’d fled, leaving with just her rucksack and the clothes on her back. But she didn’t know this terrain well, and it had been difficult to navigate through the woods with the snow covering the uneven ground. She’d lost her footing, tripped and rolled down a hilly slope, barely able to keep her arms wrapped around her head as her body bounced off every snow covered rock and tree root.

She grunted as she attempted to push herself up onto her elbows and the pain that shot through her ribs and spine suddenly brought back the memory of how she had ended up here. A group of men, barely men, teenagers really, all spotty skin and swaggering bravado, had stumbled across her makeshift camp late last night. Bernie knew by now that trying to fight off a group, no matter how hapless and fumbling they seemed to be was futile (she had the scars to prove that). Desperate people were strong and her own strength had waned from months of walking and hiding and not enough to eat. So she had run, had known she still had speed on her side, and the group had been distracted with the stuff she had left behind her as she’d fled, leaving with just her rucksack and the clothes on her back. But she didn’t know this terrain well, and it had been difficult to navigate through the woods with the snow covering the uneven ground. She’d lost her footing, tripped and rolled down a hilly slope, barely able to keep her arms wrapped around her head as her body bounced off every snow covered rock and tree root.

So she had run, had known she still had speed on her side, and the group had been distracted with the stuff she had left behind her as she’d fled, leaving with just her rucksack and the clothes on her back. But she didn’t know this terrain well, and it had been difficult to navigate through the woods with the snow covering the uneven ground. She’d lost her footing, tripped and rolled down a hilly slope, barely able to keep her arms wrapped around her head as her body bounced off every snow covered rock and tree root.

She must have blacked out before she’d come to a stop, because Bernie can’t _remember_ stopping and she sighs in relief that she’d put enough distance between them that they hadn’t found her. There hadn’t been much left at her camp, a flimsy tarpaulin and the embers of the fire she had lit earlier in the evening. A few cans of food and a first aid kit in her other bag. Bernie knew they must have seen the rucksack she had run off with, she had seen people killed for little more than the boots on their feet. Panic rushed through her as she realised she was flat on her back and she couldn’t see the rucksack anywhere.

The threadbare canvas bag held everything that Bernie needed to survive. Her knife, a change of clothes, her water, the rest of her food, her second first aid kit. She knew well enough how to survive in the elements but not without those things to help her. If she’d lost it she was as good as dead.

 “Pull yourself together Wolfe.” She hissed through gritted teeth.

Determined, she planted her palms into the snow, only just now feeling the cold that was enveloping her body, seeping into her bones. She shivered. If she didn’t get warm soon she knew she had no chance. The pain that ripped through her chest as she rolled herself over took her breath away and she gasped, panting on her hands and knees as she took stock of her injuries. She was bruised all over, the cold doing little to mask the aching that plagued her entire body. It was obvious she had more than a couple of broken ribs and she frowned. Whining through the pain, Bernie was relieved that she was able to take a full breath. At least she didn’t have a pneumothorax. She was surprised that neither of her arms were broken but she wasn’t complaining. It could have been so much worse. She allowed herself a couple of minutes to rest before she started looking around for her bag.

Bernie could have cried when she spotted it, up against a tree about 50 metres up the hill. The adrenaline spiked in her body, a burst of energy rushing through her at the discovery and she pushed herself up onto unsteady legs, took one step, then another before her brain registered a new pain. A pain much worse than the now dulling ache in her ribs. She lifted her right foot up, placed it experimentally down again, felt a white hot pain rip up from her ankle and promptly passed out, face down into the snow.

* * *

 “Cheer up mate, we’ve only got two more traps to check and we’ll be back. If we hurry we might even have time for a quick game of poker before dinner if we hurry up.” Fletch said, glancing back at Jason. He saw the young man’s lips quirk up in a smile at the mention of poker, but his sour expression quickly returned.

 “This is my least favourite job.” Jason sighed.

And it really was his least favourite job. He didn’t like the smell, or the mess or the sight of the dead rabbits. It was even worse in winter, when the snow would creep through the holes in his boots and make his socks damp as they walked. But he knew that everyone had to take the jobs in turn and besides, he was glad he was paired with Fletch for this particular chore. The older man was happy to let Jason carry the backpack while he tied the rabbits to his belt. Ric always made him carry some of the rabbits, trying to ‘man him up’ which Jason didn’t care very much for at all.

 “I thought toilet duty was your least favourite job.” Fletch called back, winking so that Jason knew he was just poking fun.

That was a horrible job too. They weren’t hooked up to a mains water supply anymore and every night someone had to go and flush the toilets with big buckets of water from the river. But at least it was over quickly and if you were careful enough you didn’t get wet feet.  

 “No that’s Jasmine’s least favourite.” Jason grinned and Fletch let out a chuckle. Jasmine was new to the camp and had been horrified at the list of chores that was divvied up between every person who lived there. But it was the only way to be fair, like Auntie Serena had said, everyone needed to pull their weight. Even Fletch’s kids had their share of chores, and there wasn’t much call for a receptionist at the end of the world.

 “Hold up, we’ve got one.” Fletch called out, and Jason stopped where he was, content to not have to see the animal being released from the traps they had strung out.

Fletch didn’t mind doing the lion’s share of the work on this particular chore, knew that Jason would take his place on something more mundane, like opening cans or setting the tables for dinner. Plus he had a soft spot for the young man, he was so good with Mikey, spending time showing the young boy how to make paper planes and kites in his spare time. That had been a godsend when they had first arrived, broken and angry with grief at the loss of Fletch’s wife, Natalie and the two youngest Fletcher children. Jason had lost his mum too, and that common ground had helped him understand Mikey in a way that no one else seemed to be able to.

Evie had clung onto Serena, the informal head of their settlement,  from the moment they had arrived, the brunette’s kind eyes and open heart a magnet for a 13 year old who had just lost her mum. Fletch couldn’t help but feel so thankful for it all. That in the darkest of days he had managed to stumble across a community that had helped him put his life back together. And then there was Raf of course. A pink blush coloured Fletch’s cheeks as he thought about that very new, _entirely unexpected_ development.

 “Hurry up Fletch,” Jason groaned, pulling the older man out of his thoughts.

 _Plenty enough time for that later._ Fletch grinned to himself, as he strung the rabbit to his belt. They were lucky to have the two they’d caught. With the snow cover this thick Fletch hadn’t been expecting any. And meat was meat, anything they could use to supplement the beans and canned new potatoes was good. They had the cows of course, but they were good for milk, and they were loathe to have to eat them if they could get their protein from elsewhere. Rabbit jerky was as good as any once it has been smoked and seasoned over an open fire.

The wind had begun to pick up and Jason shivered, folding his arms around himself in an effort to keep warm. He couldn’t wait to get back and put his feet in front of the fire. It was after 5pm now, and Auntie Serena would have turned the gas on, warming the caravan ready for the cold night ahead. He trudged ahead while Fletch was resetting the trap, trying to see if he could see the next trap without having to go all the way down to it.

Some of the group had had to make an outing to one of the towns a few weeks ago, using their precious fuel to power the vehicles so they could bring back more winter clothes and equipment from one of the camping shops. Jason hadn’t wanted to go, he remembered how bad the towns had been at the end, was afraid of the gangs that had formed in the absence of law enforcement or good people. But Auntie Serena had convinced him to give it a go, had promised him he could stay in the car if they got there and he didn’t like it.

It hadn’t been entirely successful, the camping shop ransacked and nearly devoid or anything they needed. But the bodies were mostly all gone, eaten by dogs and cats probably, Fletch had surmised. And there was no evidence of the town being inhabited by anybody, but Jason didn’t fail to miss Ric’s grim expression when he mentioned they’d probably all gone to the cities. Safety in numbers. Ric had quickly shut up when Serena had shushed him, and Jason tried to forget all about it. What they _had_ found was an optician's, the glass fronting intact, and they had brought back a huge selection of glasses and lenses. With his new glasses, Jason could see better than ever before and he was immensely proud of the fact.

He grinned with relief as he saw that the trap was indeed empty, but something about 10 metres further away caught his eye. It was a lump in the snow, a distinctly human shaped lump. Human bodies were far worse than rabbit bodies, but Jason knew that clothes and boots were valuable items.

 “Fletch.” He called out weakly, “There’s a body down here, a human one.”

Fletch cringed. He’d seen his fair share of bodies, knew the drill whenever they came across one like this. Still, it always felt a bit like grave robbing, like they were stripping the last bit of dignity the poor sod had from them.

They made their way down the hill to wear the body lay, stopping to pick up a big green rucksack on the way and Fletch’s heart sank as he saw the messy mop of hair, the pink windbreaker, the slightness of the person’s frame telling him it was a woman laying there in the snow. He couldn’t help it, every dead woman reminded him of his wife and he shook his head softly.

 "I’ll make it fast mate alright?” Fletch said stiffly, as Jason hefted the pack onto his back, silently letting Fletch know he wasn’t comfortable with dealing with anything else. Kneeling down in the snow Fletch pulled one of the boots off the woman’s foot. He made a silent promise to get it over with as quickly as possible and knowing the ground was too hard to dig, he resigned himself to just have to cover her up with snow.

As Fletch pulled her second boot off he heard a soft grunt, and he jumped. Dead bodies made noises sometimes, he knew that. But this sounded different. He touched the woman’s foot. It was freezing cold through her sock, and she didn’t move.

 “Fletch!” Jason’s voice was tinged with terror as he scrambled away from the body, “She’s breathing, she’s alive, she’s alive!”

Fletch crawled up to where the woman’s face was pressed into the snow and saw there was a shallow depression in the snow where it had been melted by her breath. Tentatively he rolled her onto her back, and pressed his fingers to her neck. Sure enough she had a pulse. Slow and weak but it was there. Fletch chastised himself for not checking, for just assuming that the woman had been dead. There ends of her hair were icicles and half her face was burned bright red from the cold of the snow. The rest of her was deathly pale. He had no idea how she was still alive.

He knew immediately what he had to do. If this lady had any chance of surviving he had to get her back to the camp. Back to Serena. He’d seen the brunette get people through some serious scrapes, didn’t know if she was going to be able to help this woman but he knew he had to try.

 “It’s alright love, we’re gonna get you out of here. Just hold on for me alright? Just hold on.”

Fletch took off his own jacket and rolled her carefully into it, zipping it up over her limp arms. He scooped the woman up effortlessly, gasping as he felt her vertebrae through whatever layers she had on. He wondered what had happened to her, if she’d been abandoned or if she’d been travelling alone. She certainly had the stones if she’d been travelling alone. He wondered if she’d even be grateful to be saved, people went through awful things out on the road nowadays.

 “Grab her boots Jason we’ve got to get her back to your Auntie Serena right now.”

 Jason sprang into action. His earlier shock having abated somewhat. He bent down carefully to grab the worn boots, careful not to let the new weight of the woman’s rucksack topple him over.

 “We’ll have to be quick, she doesn’t look good Fletch.” Jason commented worriedly as he began to stride ahead. “I hope there’s something she can do.”

 “Me too mate.” Fletch replied, glancing down at the unresponsive woman in his arms. “Me too.”

* * *

Jason had run on ahead, a year and half of tending land and walking and carrying everything everywhere had improved his fitness to the point where the extra weight of the woman’s rucksack barely made a dent in his speed. He knew basic first aid, everyone in the camp did and he knew the priority was making sure the woman got warmed up. Just last week Evie and Mikey had spent too long outside in the snow, had to spend an evening huddled up under warmed blankets shivering their way through 3 cups of precious hot chocolate. This lady needed more than that, and Jason wanted to make sure they were prepared.

Jasmine saw him barreling up the hill first, she was out by the sinks washing the clothes. Pleasant enough work in the summer but it made for frigid hands in the winter. She called down, waved to him and frowned when she got no response.

 “Hold up speedy gonzales you’re gonna fall over in a minute!” she called down to him. She was wringing out a pair of trousers as he sped past, seemingly ignoring her comment until he shouted a reply, not waiting to turn back.

 “We found an injured woman, get everyone to warm blankets in front of their fires!”

Then she could see Fletch in the distance, cradling someone in his arms, making ground as fast as he could and she lept up, leaving the rest of the laundry in the basket. She ran into the nearest caravan, repeating Jason’s orders before moving on to the next one, dinner preparations and chores forgotten as the news spread.

* * *

 “Auntie Serena!” Jason yelled as he burst through the door of the caravan. “Auntie Serena!”

 “What on earth?” Serena gasped in response to the disruption, her voice a little sharper than she would have liked. She down the plate she was holding and turned to face her nephew, anxiety tightening in her stomach as she took in his disheveled appearance. His eyes were wide and panicked and he was panting, breathless from the exertion.

 “What’s wrong Jason? Where’s Fletch? Are you okay?” She babbled, before remembering she needed to ask one question at a time.

 “Are you okay?” She asked, the most important question. Ever since Ellie had run off with that blasted boyfriend of hers, she had become even more protective over Jason. It was bad enough not knowing where Ellie was, she wouldn’t be able to bear it if something happened to Jason, if she lost him too. She grabbed his shoulders, took stock of him, he was in a panic but he didn’t look to be injured. Serena took a breath and forced herself to relax a bit.

 “I’m alright.” Jason wiggled himself out of her hands. “We found a lady on the hillside by the woods, she’s alive but I don’t know how long she was in the snow for. She’s very cold. Fletch is bringing her here now.”

 “Oh goodness, right.” Serena’s heart started beating faster in anticipation of what was to come. Emergencies were few and far between now. She spent most of her time prescribing honey and lemon for sore throats and patching up wounds people got from working in the camp. Sprained ankles and small lacerations. Providing medical check ups as payment for goods they needed from people travelling through.

She felt a tiny thrill at the thought of potentially saving someone’s life but it was swiftly replaced by the crushing dread that there may simply be nothing she would be able to do. Her capabilities were limited. She’d brought enough supplies with her from the hospital to be able to look after her small brood of people well enough but if this lady needed diagnostic imaging, anything other than simple surgery then there was nothing she would be able to do.

The thud of the green rucksack hitting the floor as Jason heaved it off his back got Serena’s attention and she started running through the things she would need.

 “Jason can you heat some water and put a few of the saline bags in it. Use the thermometer, make sure it doesn’t get too hot and would you fetch Evie for me?”

Serena had taken Evie, Fletch’s oldest daughter under her wing almost from the moment they had arrived at the camp, heavy and grey skinned with grief. Ellie had recently run away with a boy from a travelling group that had passed through and if Serena was honest, having the young girl so close was a balm to the hole in her heart that had opened up when Ellie had left. She was almost 14 now, and wise beyond her years. Clever, eager to learn and not at all phased by blood or guts or gross things, so Serena had taken her on as a sort of assistant, and she helped Serena whenever she had patients to look after. Serena briefly wondered if this would be too much for the teenager, then remembered what she had seen when her mother and younger siblings had been sick. It would be good for her anyway, seeing a real emergency.

 “I will.” Jason stated his affirmation as Serena began pulling supplies out of drawers.

 “We’re going to need-”

 “Everyone’s already warming their blankets.” Jason cut in, not rudely, just finishing Serena’s thought like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Serena beamed at him, damped down the urge to cup his cheek fondly, knew he wouldn’t appreciate it. He had come so far during the past 18 months and she was so proud of him. When they’d first arrived at the caravan site 20 months ago, just the three of them and Morven, Jason had been mute and uncommunicative. She had been so worried he would never recover from losing his mother, from the things he had witnessed. But here they were, so many months later, her nephew stomping all over the things Serena thought he wouldn’t achieve. It was incredible.

 “That’s really good work Jason, thank you for being so efficient. Now hop to it with that water, there’s no time to waste.”

Once Jason had put the water on to heat up he disappeared out to find Evie and Serena carried her supplies into the spare bedroom they used as a treatment room. One of the beds had been taken out to make more room and Serena dumped the equipment on the small table they had put in it’s place. By the time she had pulled back the sheets and set up her IV tray Fletch was standing in the doorway with the limp woman in his arms, Evie hot on his heels, already rolling up her sleeves.

Fletch laid the woman gently on the bed and he cringed at the way her head lolled to the side. Evie squeezed past, laid her hand over her dad’s and gave it a squeeze.

“It’s alright dad, me and Serena have got this. Go on, everyone else needs dinner.”

* * *

 


End file.
